Cadteenwod is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciful guinea pig.

Cadteenwod created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadteenwod, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cadteenwod, it will laugh at you.

Cadteenwod's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Cadteenwod's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never mention bats.

4. Run away from fawn birds, for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.