Metdanflab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witless hippopotamus.

Metdanflab created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metdanflab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Metdanflab, he will destroy your home planet.

Metdanflab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Metdanflab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven iron sculptures of Metdanflab on top of important buildings.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Run away if eight aardvarks approach from the north.

5. You must pray to Metdanflab five times a day.