Talbepgod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unjust snail.

Talbepgod created a strange quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talbepgod, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Talbepgod, she will turn you into a hamster.

Talbepgod's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Talbepgod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven tin sculptures of Talbepgod on top of important buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never look at stars.