Hangamten is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty shrew.

Hangamten created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hangamten, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hangamten, it will laugh at you.

Hangamten's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Hangamten's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near mites while wearing pink dresses and balancing three titanium spheres on your back.

4. Never chant in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Do not keep nine voles in a large pit.