Tonkquamart is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless squirrel.

Tonkquamart created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkquamart, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonkquamart, he will manifest in front of you.

Tonkquamart's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tonkquamart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Run away if four snakes approach from the east.
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