Stikweglarn is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, smart dugong.

Stikweglarn created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikweglarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stikweglarn, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Stikweglarn's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Stikweglarn's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Stikweglarn on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Never eat carrots.