Kanflablarg is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering wyrm.

Kanflablarg created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanflablarg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kanflablarg, she will destroy your home solar system.

Kanflablarg's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Kanflablarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Hide from blue monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Run away if five snails approach from the east.

4. Always look after injured horses.

5. Kanflablarg loves rats, so they must be respected.