Tagyakyatttofmin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful porpoise.

Tagyakyatttofmin created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagyakyatttofmin, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tagyakyatttofmin, it will not care.

Tagyakyatttofmin's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tagyakyatttofmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tagyakyatttofmin.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not make images of living things.