Vencarrapbab Komtunbess is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating newt.

Vencarrapbab Komtunbess created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vencarrapbab Komtunbess, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vencarrapbab Komtunbess, he will send you a sign.

Vencarrapbab Komtunbess' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Vencarrapbab Komtunbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near horses while wearing gray corsets and balancing seven carbon spheres on your neck.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away if three nematodes approach from the west.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Vencarrapbab Komtunbess in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about stars.