Zedappbess is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast wombat.

Zedappbess created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zedappbess, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zedappbess, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Zedappbess' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zedappbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Run away if four foxes approach from the north.

3. Always look after injured eagles.

4. Never paint your hands mauve.

5. Respect your elders.