Hogbigvin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, selfish goblin.

Hogbigvin created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hogbigvin, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hogbigvin, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hogbigvin's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Hogbigvin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never feed cherries to tortoises while wearing dresses.

5. Never pour water over plants.