Garwodhen is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, narcissistic elephant.

Garwodhen created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Garwodhen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Garwodhen, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Garwodhen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Garwodhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of mice.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must love Garwodhen.

5. Always pray immersed in water.