Paktonzed is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, proud squid.

Paktonzed created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paktonzed, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Paktonzed, she will be mildly annoyed.

Paktonzed's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Paktonzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the east.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Hide if five manatees approach from the north.