Flagbapvab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty manatee.

Flagbapvab created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagbapvab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flagbapvab, it will destroy your home planet.

Flagbapvab's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Flagbapvab's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flagbapvab.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always treat frogs with great respect.