Mutwonstik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, annoying dragon.

Mutwonstik created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutwonstik, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mutwonstik, she will make you grow a tail.

Mutwonstik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Mutwonstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Put Mutwonstik first in all things.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.