Zodgaddapgepnakpid Mabluncib is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, conceited wren.

Zodgaddapgepnakpid Mabluncib created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodgaddapgepnakpid Mabluncib, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zodgaddapgepnakpid Mabluncib, she will have a low opinion of you.

Zodgaddapgepnakpid Mabluncib's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Zodgaddapgepnakpid Mabluncib's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Put Zodgaddapgepnakpid Mabluncib first in all things.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away from magenta voles, for they are unholy.