Kannartsakwabmot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, able aardvark.

Kannartsakwabmot created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kannartsakwabmot, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kannartsakwabmot, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kannartsakwabmot's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kannartsakwabmot's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five nematodes approach from the north.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Kannartsakwabmot in the centre of the settlement.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Put Kannartsakwabmot first in all things.