Quartfetfar is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, almighty turtle.

Quartfetfar created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Quartfetfar, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quartfetfar, it will not care at all.

Quartfetfar's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Quartfetfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Dogs are not to be trusted.

3. Worship no other gods but Quartfetfar.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Quartfetfar must be the most important thing in your life.