Mappogpon Tarpzenhit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent troll.

Mappogpon Tarpzenhit created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mappogpon Tarpzenhit, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mappogpon Tarpzenhit, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mappogpon Tarpzenhit's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Mappogpon Tarpzenhit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mappogpon Tarpzenhit.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.
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