Sidtaffod is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring jaguar.

Sidtaffod created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sidtaffod, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sidtaffod, she will turn you into a plant.

Sidtaffod's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Sidtaffod's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Never feed limes to great tits while wearing indigo boots.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Sidtaffod in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not kill snails.

5. Hide from cyan mites for they are unholy.