Cubbaptamfit Febyatthak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast wren.

Cubbaptamfit Febyatthak created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cubbaptamfit Febyatthak, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cubbaptamfit Febyatthak, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Cubbaptamfit Febyatthak's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Cubbaptamfit Febyatthak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always wear plain boots during rituals.

3. Always remove skirts before touching platinum.

4. Never remain bowed at midnight.

5. Always help sick tortoises.