Gabfodjat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful spider.

Gabfodjat created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabfodjat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gabfodjat, she will turn you into a tree.

Gabfodjat's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gabfodjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.