Arpdundad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciless aardvark.

Arpdundad created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpdundad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arpdundad, she will turn you into a worm.

Arpdundad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Arpdundad's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near doves.

2. Arpdundad loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

3. You must love Arpdundad.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Arpdundad.

5. Do not shave your neck.