Flapjonnakbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, thoughtless duck.

Flapjonnakbiss created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapjonnakbiss, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flapjonnakbiss, she will turn you into a mole.

Flapjonnakbiss' most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Flapjonnakbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Flapjonnakbiss loves voles, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.