Bestqueegqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tiresome swan.

Bestqueegqueeg created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestqueegqueeg, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bestqueegqueeg, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bestqueegqueeg's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bestqueegqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Bestqueegqueeg on top of important buildings.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.