Godcunmon is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, grumpy ferret.

Godcunmon created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Godcunmon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Godcunmon, she will not invite you to parties.

Godcunmon's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Godcunmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not keep five goats in a large pit.

3. Godcunmon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Put Godcunmon first in all things.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.