Jigfligflab Zaktenbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a small, vain penguin.

Jigfligflab Zaktenbaf created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jigfligflab Zaktenbaf, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jigfligflab Zaktenbaf, he will throw large rocks at you.

Jigfligflab Zaktenbaf's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Jigfligflab Zaktenbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not take Jigfligflab Zaktenbaf's name in vain.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.