Bogfagfud is a god.

It takes the form of a small, moody spider.

Bogfagfud created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bogfagfud, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bogfagfud, it will be very unhappy.

Bogfagfud's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bogfagfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near mites while wearing mauve shorts and balancing three titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed garlic to snails while wearing trousers.