Artjopfotladgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, able finch.

Artjopfotladgeb created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Artjopfotladgeb, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Artjopfotladgeb, she will be very unhappy.

Artjopfotladgeb's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Artjopfotladgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight manatees approach from the east.

2. Put Artjopfotladgeb first in all things.

3. Hide from orange horses for they are unholy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always stare at clouds.