Joplitbafdun is a god.

She takes the form of a small, uncaring hydra.

Joplitbafdun created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Joplitbafdun, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Joplitbafdun, she will turn you into a rat.

Joplitbafdun's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Joplitbafdun's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are not to be trusted.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Joplitbafdun.

5. Do not kill doves.