Gepstigrull is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient aardvark.

Gepstigrull created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gepstigrull, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gepstigrull, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gepstigrull's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Gepstigrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near ants.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Gepstigrull must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Gepstigrull loves moths, so they must be respected.

5. Hide from fawn swans for they are unholy.