Loopbatcab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous meerkat.

Loopbatcab created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Loopbatcab, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Loopbatcab, she will turn you into a slug.

Loopbatcab's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Loopbatcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention squirrels.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Loopbatcab loves ants, so they must be respected.