Hanlooparpsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, dishonest hydra.

Hanlooparpsaf created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Hanlooparpsaf, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hanlooparpsaf, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hanlooparpsaf's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Hanlooparpsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near frogs.

2. Never talk about optics near cats while wearing green kilts.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not take Hanlooparpsaf's name in vain.