Gupvagkan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, ill-tempered jackal.

Gupvagkan created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Gupvagkan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gupvagkan, he will turn you into a goat.

Gupvagkan's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Gupvagkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Run away from cyan foxes, for they are unholy.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Gupvagkan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not commit murder.