Dumcintonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, calm wolf.

Dumcintonk created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumcintonk, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dumcintonk, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dumcintonk's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dumcintonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Dumcintonk loves shrews, so they must be respected.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never wear pink shoes.