Tipflabsand is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, conceited crane.

Tipflabsand created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipflabsand, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tipflabsand, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tipflabsand's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tipflabsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tipflabsand.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Do not speak about peanuts.

5. Never talk about fire.