Dussawhas Arffongov is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, smart lobster.

Dussawhas Arffongov created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dussawhas Arffongov, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dussawhas Arffongov, he will manifest in front of you.

Dussawhas Arffongov's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Dussawhas Arffongov's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

3. Always help sharks.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.