Bemfubpog is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid jaguar.

Bemfubpog created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Bemfubpog, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bemfubpog, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bemfubpog's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bemfubpog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never paint your feet fawn.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never wear rings.