Hivgubpak Sinquillbam is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful tortoise.

Hivgubpak Sinquillbam created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivgubpak Sinquillbam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hivgubpak Sinquillbam, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hivgubpak Sinquillbam's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Hivgubpak Sinquillbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hivgubpak Sinquillbam.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Hide from indigo capybaras for they are unholy.

5. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.