Pidxinxem is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, generous otter.

Pidxinxem created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pidxinxem, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pidxinxem, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Pidxinxem's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Pidxinxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Run away if five eagles approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.