Sigkamgep is a god.

It takes the form of a large, irritating elephant.

Sigkamgep created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigkamgep, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sigkamgep, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Sigkamgep's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sigkamgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest blue.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.