Dibbellwik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical giraffe.

Dibbellwik created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibbellwik, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dibbellwik, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dibbellwik's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Dibbellwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dibbellwik.

4. Never feed oranges to turtles while wearing pink coats.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.