Dibkanbad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring hippopotamus.

Dibkanbad created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibkanbad, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dibkanbad, it will turn you into a slug.

Dibkanbad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Dibkanbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.