Maphivhap is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy manatee.

Maphivhap created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Maphivhap, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Maphivhap, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Maphivhap's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Maphivhap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. You must love Maphivhap.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Maphivhap in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never feed cherries to porpoises while wearing cyan corsets.