Vinruttvagwan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest porpoise.

Vinruttvagwan created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinruttvagwan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vinruttvagwan, it will send minions to preach to you.

Vinruttvagwan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Vinruttvagwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Always help mice in need.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Vinruttvagwan in the centre of the settlement.