Ortnellnig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, passionate weasel.

Ortnellnig created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortnellnig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ortnellnig, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ortnellnig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Ortnellnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Never mention grasshopers.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never feed turnips to dolphins while wearing shoes.

5. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Ortnellnig in the centre of the settlement.