Lunsakzan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, selfish wyrm.

Lunsakzan created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunsakzan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lunsakzan, he will turn you into a goat.

Lunsakzan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Lunsakzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think about dark matter near manatees while wearing gray shirts and balancing nine lead spheres on your back.

5. Do not drink alcohol.