Cabtitciss Quaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-powerful crane.

Cabtitciss Quaf created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabtitciss Quaf, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cabtitciss Quaf, she will turn you into a rat.

Cabtitciss Quaf's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Cabtitciss Quaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Feed all hungry cats.