Sugcutcum is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless lobster.

Sugcutcum created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sugcutcum, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sugcutcum, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Sugcutcum's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Sugcutcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never fashion tools from clay.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Never hurt tapirs.