Zakkenarn Sidtampib is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient eagle.

Zakkenarn Sidtampib created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakkenarn Sidtampib, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakkenarn Sidtampib, she will torture you forever.

Zakkenarn Sidtampib's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Zakkenarn Sidtampib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near doves while wearing gray shorts and balancing nine gold spheres on your neck.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. You must pray to Zakkenarn Sidtampib four times a day.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Zakkenarn Sidtampib in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.