Pasmipquim Ged is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, bad-tempered hydra.

Pasmipquim Ged created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pasmipquim Ged, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pasmipquim Ged, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pasmipquim Ged's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Pasmipquim Ged's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Pasmipquim Ged loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about voles.

5. Pasmipquim Ged loves moths, so they must be honoured.