Linbessnut is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unthinking penguin.

Linbessnut created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Linbessnut, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Linbessnut, she will destroy your home solar system.

Linbessnut's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Linbessnut's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about dark matter near porpoises while wearing red shorts and balancing five carbon spheres on your arms.

3. Always look after injured seals.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics.

5. Pray towards the south.